Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Time...Is an Illusion...

Today is Sunday...even though it is Tuesday.

Last Saturday was Day One of Ye Olde Academy's annual Foundation Festival, so it wound up turning into Monday. But it wasn't really Monday. There were no classes. We were at the school, we were at work, but we were at play. We were playing all day. We were working by playing, and we played late, so we worked late. That meant it couldn't be Saturday, therefore it was Monday...a strangely un-Monday-like Monday, but Monday nonetheless.

The next day was Day Two of the Festival and therefore a work day. The calendar insisted it was Sunday, but it couldn't be. Sundays aren't for working. Moreover, it was the day after Monday. It was a working day coming after Monday. Therefore, Day Two had to be Tuesday. Tuesdays are work days, and we were working even while we were playing, and it was the day after Monday, so it was Tuesday. The calendar didn't agree, but it was so.

The day after that naturally had to complicate things. Being the day after Tuesday, normally it would be Wednesday, but the Festival was done. The calendar frothily argued that it was Monday, but that couldn't be; Monday had already happened. That left us with a temporal vacuum. But then it was remembered that Saturday had been lost in the shuffle and was still drifting around in calenderic hyperspace. It was called upon to fill the void. Saturdays are usually half work days. However, the Powers That Be (ah-AH) had decided there would be no classes. It was the power down and clean up time after the Festival, so there were no classes. But still there had to be a half day of work, and that meant four hours. Four hours that had no schedule, so they could appear anywhere. I spent my four hours there...four hours appearing where I wanted them to be...and there was almost no one there. Most of the faculty had taken the day off. That made it feel like Sunday...Sunday that was Saturday where Monday was supposed to be.

The calendar displacement had one day left to go. Once again, the calendar jumped up on its soapbox and started screaming rabidly that it was Tuesday. But Tuesday, like Monday before it, had also already happened, so we had yet another void to fill. This time the only candidate was Sunday. Sunday, the day of rest. Sunday, the day of staying home. And so I remained at home on Sunday while everyone else languished through Tuesday. Two separate days, and yet together. Time travel made possible by Ye Olde Academy's Foundation Festival. I wonder if the Powers That Be (ah-AH) are aware of just how much power they have.

Tomorrow things return to normal. Everyone comes together in the great NEXUS that is Wednesday. The day of Odin. The day of woe. The day my 7th grade students have so much trouble spelling right. The line must be drawn...here.

Now let's all sing along with The Cure's "Friday (I'm In Love)":

Monday, you can fall apart,
Tuesday, Wednesday, break my heart,
Thursday doesn't even start.
It's Friday! I'm in love!

The trouble is...what if Friday winds up turning into Monday?


Dave, a time traveler said...

Actually, the calender is never correct, because the Earth is so big. Somewhere when it is Monday, it is Sunday somewhere else, so we should count the days as such:



and so on. Just the same it is never just 11:00. But proclaiming the time of day for everywhere on Earth at the same time would be redundant, however, some places I have worked have had clocks on the wall for the time of day around the world serving various customers.

Time is indeed an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.

Don Snabulus said...

This post is all bendy and squishy.

Days are numbers
Watch the stars
We can only see so far
Someday, you’ll know where you are

-- Alan Parsons Project

Dave said...

I am currently traveling through time at a rate of sixty seconds per minute.

ze bulette said...

it's all the same day for me, now that i've perfected my Torsion Field Generator! mooahahahaa

The Moody Minstrel said...

Aw, you beat me to the punch!

(But you won't beat me to the beer!)

Pandabonium said...

Have you been consorting with the caterpillar and sharing his hookah?

Morphius said...

Alice, Alice, not the blue pill!

Arkonbey said...

First I was confused. Man, I thought, this sounds and looks like a MM post. Lo and behold, it IS a MM post.

Second, the days-of-the-week-oriented post is a bit timely as I'm re-reading Garth Nix's days-of-the-week-oriented book seriesThe Keys to the Kingdom

Carl Sagan said...

There are literally billions and billions of possible variations of any point of time.

Stephen Hawking said...

Hey, you! Get back to your traipsing around the cosmos in a dandelion seed and leave the time stuff to me!

Albert Einstein said...


Erwin Shrodinger said...

Oh, what do YOU want?

Dave said...

There is a book out somewhere describing how Einstein was wrong with a glorious photo of the famous phizzysist sticking his toungue out.

Dave said...


About a third of the way down, said phizzysist.

Speaking of time travel, this particualr web site contains much interesting reading about science.