Monday, June 09, 2008

And I Don't Mean Smolgers


With a name like Folgers, Smucker has to feel good

In its largest acquisition, J.M. Smucker Co. of Orrville on Wednesday said it is adding Folgers coffee to a growing line of products.

Smucker, known for its jellies and jams, agreed to purchase the Folgers coffee unit of Procter & Gamble of Cincinnati. The all-stock deal is valued at $3.3 billion, including the assumption of an estimated $350 million of Folgers debt. Earlier this year, Procter & Gamble had said it wanted to separate its coffee brands.

I can't help thinking they could combine the names Folgers and Smucker somehow to keep both brands intact. Hmmmm.

(This is my own variant on a one-liner I saw at Ironic Times.)


Arkonbey said...

That reminds me of two friends in college who enjoyed mixing Kool Aid flavors. They really enjoyed their strawberry/grape combo, calling it 'grawberry', because 'strape' just sounded wrong.

They also invented juices called Cranoloccoli and Cranonion and a condiment called Choco-naise.

Oh, they also, like many Simpson's fans, made Skittlebrau (with Corona). Skittles

Pandabonium said...

Soon they'll be marketing god-awful Smucker flavored Folgers coffees.

"Hello. I'm Anna Maria Alberghetti. Folker's instant mint jelly coffee is so convenient. We just dip our toast in the coffee. I like to add a little Crisco to mine."

Don Snabulus said...


I could probably stomach a small glass of the Kool Aid combo but the rest just sound nasty. I like the names though.


You could have your breakfast all combined in one hot cup with toast crumbs sprinkled over the top

Swinebread said...

Wow, folgers is a crap brand... why did they do that?

It's one of reasons I hated coffee for so long.

The Moody Minstrel said...

Is there an American coffee sold in large cans at supermarkets that isn't crap? (I actually thought Folger's was one of the better ones!)

Does this mean Smucker's is going to start marketing coffee jelly (a popular treat in Japan)? Or are they going to make a coffee-flavored peanut butter?

Will the red can be replaced with something more tutti-fruity?

Will the instant variety still have "coffee crystals", or will they be replaced with globs of jam?

Will Smucker finally explain what "mountain grown" REALLY means?

Will I make a comment in this thread that isn't a question?

ladybug said...

Since I don't like coffee, (never have, never will!)...I'm ok w/it...they better not mess w/the Jam/Jellies though!

Hell, I don't care about that either..I make enough of my own. Still have 3 jars of last years Strawberrry Freezer jam to go through!

Overdroid said...

Bob never has a second cup of my jam. In fact, I've never seen him just suck up an entire cup of jam all by itself, what the heck is wrong with him? Oh no, he's having a sugar fit.

Someone other than Dave said...

Smuckers, a brand name for people who suck their thumbs?

Folgers, a brand for people who are older.

Smolgers, the name of an old person whose thumb slipped out of their mouth while they were sleeping and caught the bed on fire.

Don Snabulus said...


But the crystals glisten in the sun!


With all the wordplay we have going on, Mountain Groan might be more apt.




Bob never falls to the ground in a diabetic coma at our house...


Smoking thumbs is illegal in my state.

Pandabonium said...

"That's strange, Bob never has a 2nd cup of marmalade at home."

Dean Wormer said...

Folgers is still around? I guess they need something to serve at cheap diners.