Sunday, August 27, 2006

Let Slip the Dogmas of War

And in other news...

In Afghanistan, the Taliban gave in to the demands of the hard-core Salafi/Wahabbists in Al-Qaeda and destroyed the giant, ancient Buddha carvings in Bamiyan, provoking world outrage. Now, in Canada, zealots have destroyed a massive, 1500-year-old gallery of petroglyphs believed to be the only surviving remnant of an advanced culture that was wiped out by the Inuit long ago. This time the history-cleansing fanatics are Christian. Where is the world outrage?

Meanwhile, those two Fox News reporters that were abducted in the Gaza Strip and held longer than any other abductees in that area to date have been set free. What happened? Did the U.S. give in to their demands and release prisoners? Was a ransom paid? No. The two journalists converted to Islam. I guess that takes precedence over everything else.
Terrorists: "American pig-dogs! Infidel scum! Too long has your Crusader government conspired with the Zionists to oppress and kill our people! Too long have we suffered and died! We will have justice! We will have revenge! We will have..."
Journalists: "We love Allah!"
Terrorists: "Oh, alright. Off you go!"
Logic: "I surrender!"

I wouldn't be too quick to embrace alternative religions, though. Look what happened to a Texas woman who made an altar to La Santisma Muerte (a.k.a. The Grim Reaper) in her home entertainment center. Apparently there was a malfunction in the sacred illumination mechanism (i.e. the candles started a fire), and the whole altar wound up a burnt offering...the hard way. Well, you know what they say: Play with fire, and you flirt with Death...or was that "Play with Death, and you flirt with fire"?
I'm soooo confused!!!!

Meanwhile, I've read in my newspaper that some scientists are actually worried that they might be sued by rabid astrologers upset that the recent demotion of Pluto will completely screw up their understanding of cosmic cycles.
Say, WHAT???!??

Belief can be such a crazy thing...

Okay, back to the real world!


Don Snabulus said...

If I were kidnapped, I would say whatever my captors wanted to a video camera. It is called the art of staying alive.

The real reason the journalists were released so quickly that both Hamas and Islamic Jihad immediately and forcefully condemned the actions of the kidnappers. They had no support from anyone in Palestine or anywhere else so they tried to save face.

Whatever the reason, I am glad they are out of there and hopefully back home.

ladybug said...

Well, I'd say the Texas lady just get's Red's "DUMBA$$" tag, with points for creativity.

And yea, I've got reservations about the so-called conversions. I'm sure keeping the 'nappers bloated religious ego's happy had something to do with it.

Fundie Xian Natives? Pretty scary, but sadly true. Can't even light a candle to the Saints now....else you're "worshipping a false idol".

DewKid said...

I'd praise Allah in the captors hands, and then shake my naked booty at em once I was released. On my booty would be the words, "Green Yams!!", and that would be good because then the terrorists would think that I had to eat green yams when I got home, and that's just plain wrong.
- Jack Handy

Some Rabid Taliban said...

Dewkid, you are clearly a minion of the Evil One, an infidel of the worst sort, and I want you to touch my monkey!