Wednesday, March 22, 2006

What Does It Mean to be Stupid?

Okay, I admit it. I had a bit too much time on my hands today, and I'm glad, I tell you! Glad! Do you hear me? Glad!

Anyway, it was the first time in quite a while (and probably the last time for a while) that I found myself sitting here without anything I needed to do, anything I wanted to do, anything hanging over my head, or anything on my mind at all. First I poked around on the web for a bit, but when all the stupidity I encountered in cyberspace started to get to me, I decided to try something different. I started investigating stupidity itself. Specifically, what I did was put every English word used to insult someone's intelligence that came to mind into the box on Google and hit the "I Feel Lucky" button. Allow me to describe what I came up with.

First I tried the rather pompous and dated word simpleton. What popped up was those Danish cartoons depicting Mohammed that sent the Muslim world into a frothy fit. Silly talked about molecules with weird or ridiculous names, while dumb talked about weird or ridiculous laws in the United States.

Taking it a step up to dumb-dumb got me to a really strange site with some really twisted, interactive flash animation. Both dummy and jerk talked about movies with those titles (Dummy being about a Jewish ventriloquist and The Jerk being about, well, a jerk). Butthead, not surprisingly, got the "Beavis & Butthead" home page, and jackass led me to the unofficial website of the TV program of the same name.

Speaking of appropriately-named media, dork called up the official site of the Dork Tower comic book, which is aimed at geeks. As for geek itself, it gave me an online gift-shopping website for, you guessed it, nerds. Strangely enough, however, while stupid also led to weird gift-shopping, nerd got me the home page of a band called (wait for it...) NERD (No one Ever Really Dies). (They don't really look like geeks to me, though I won't try to vouch for their intelligence.)

Stupid and music seem to go hand in hand. Besides the nerd link listed above, numbskull, retard, and lameass all found me indie music sites. Lamebrain, on the other hand, turned out to be a free, open-source mp3 encoder for the Mac, and gimp was an open-source GNU image manipulator program. (Hmm...are they implying that progressive music and open-source software are stupid?)

Some of the links turned out to be surprisingly literal. Mongoloid called up the Wikipedia entry for that term. The word asshat has its own dedicated website. Dumbass deals with news of the stupid in the world, while moron deals only with news of our beloved President. Idiot just makes an idiot out of the person visiting the site. Tellingly, both fool and drip get you investment advice, while dumbhead gives online dating and webcam links to people that are too dumb to get a date on their own. I should also point out that "dumbs**t" got me a scary-looking list of links to porn sites that tended to involve excretory functions (and I will not link it). However, perhaps the most unbelievably literal, and maybe even the funniest, was ass-bite (may or may not be SFW).

It was kind of strange that knob found me looking at a website for a ski resort, but it was far stranger that scar-mar (an insulting term from my junior high days) got me to a page from an official marriage registry! What does that tell you?

I think it tells me that I have WAAAAAYYYYYYY too much free time right now. Time to make myself useful...

14 comments:

Seymour said...

Did you try the word Maxfield?

DewKid said...

I went to the idiot site, and I'm proud to say that I managed to click on the moving button. The words "You Win!" appeared on the screen, and I felt much better.

DewKid said...

What's dumb, is that I went back and played again. It said "You Win!" again, and I was happy again.

Man, what an idiot!

Don Snabulus said...

I think dumbness is dumb.

saba said...

i loved dumbass and fool...and yea hehehehe it think u do have a bit too much time on ur hands :P

ladybug said...

Well, ya know noboby would be talking much about "dumbass" if the 70's show hadn't caught on...but I digress.

However, I wonder about "JERK"-as being stupid may be an important element, simply being socially retarded and (most important) a selfish egotistical meanie are the primary aspects.

smenita-a south-of-the border term for various body fluids formulated during you-know-what..

Pandabonium said...

I looked in the mirror....

Pa've said...

If anybody has too much time on his hands I do. I just watched Harry Potter Goblet of Fire for the fifteenth time.

Some guy said...

I've got yer goblet of fire,
RIGGHHHHHT HEEERRRREEEEE

Why Palestinians Usually Get It Wrong said...

What does it mean to be stupid you ask?

Well, Rachel Corrie chose death by bulldozer, that was pretty stupid. Palestinians refuse to allow their children to have a future, that is pretty stupid.

Why Palestinians Usually Get It Wrong said...

Saba's inability to discuss a topic such as her support of Palestinian terrorism and her support of killing Jewish children is pretty stupid.

The Moody Minstrel said...

Considering nobody has any interest in reading spam posts, inflicting them on people is pretty stupid.

Seymour said...

Trolls is stupid

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