Friday, October 21, 2005

Speaking of Deadly Creatures

The linked article shows the ten deadliest creatures in America in terms of annual human fatalities. You thought those nasty Oz-spiders were bad? Well, they don't hold a candle to any of these monsters!

Click the link and check out these deadly scourges of mankind!


DewKid said...

Tigers are responsible for 0.6 deaths? Was that when Roy got attacked by his White Tiger? Is he only 0.4 alive?

The only thing I didn't like about that list, were the "generalizations" they used. Insects? Sheesh, THAT narrows it down.

So Pythons are at the bottom of that list, only killing half a person. Which half? Is there like some legs somewhere walking around and ordering french fries and beer? Are those legs wearing a patch on one knee that reads "My other half is python poo". Those legs are very scary, and I would very much appreciate it if they stay out of MY neighborhood. Run legs, run! And stop ordering fries!! They're bad for your heart... I mean... your.... um.... toes!

reixe - An exclamation often used by Scooby Doo.

KJM said...

Nice to see that house cats didn'tmake the list >^..^<


Housecats don't kill- they just make us sick.

Seymour said...

Yeah, what's up with the partial kill ratings? That doesn't make any sense. I wonder if they include choking deaths, that would kick the cows and pigs up there a bit.

Pandabonium said...

Of course the statistics that are not whole numbers result from the necessity to average out over several years due to the low numbers of deaths.

On the other hand a quarter million Americans are killed each year as the result of medical "care". Apparently doctors are a particularly dangerous species.

Pandas are particularly wary of them.

thehim said...

Are spiders considered insects in this survey?

Marlin Perkins said...

Good grief, they left out the Northwestern Tree Octopus!

Do you realize how many people each year suffer a prolonged painful death due to these creatures? Horrible. Horrible.

Now while Jim wrestles the tree octopus, I'll update his life insurance policy with Mutual of Omaha...

ugnra - Jim's last utterance

The Moody Minstrel said...

I still find it amusing that deer are statistically more dangerous to mankind than any known predator, and, even more ironically, we have our technology to thank!

I'll bet those statistics would have been a lot different in America before the coming of the white man. It probably would have been more like this:

neighboring tribes* - 5,798
bison - 247
wolves - 163
bears - 82
insects - 76
snakes - 28
mountain lions - 12
(rabid) rodents - 3
wild boars - 0.8
sharks - 0.6

*"Those lousy [ ] on the other side of the valley are nothing but animals!"

Sigh...those were the days.
Okay, maybe not.

ofsrfix - What Chinaman Bob of Steaming Gulch swore he'd do after being harassed and bullied by Sheriff Jeb.

Relatively Exact said...

Um...that last comment is definitely NOT PC...

Gack!!!!! said...

Oh, PCs suck! GO MAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wevdo - "Are we not men?" "We-v-d-o!" "Are we not men?" "We swish and glow!"
Oh, go shove your heads in flower pots, you gang of fa...oh, never mind.

Pandabonium said...

The statistics for pre-European contact would have probably been in the two decimal places range for all causes of death by animals (and fellow human beings). Europeans were already out of touch with nature when they schlepped over to North America.

Native Americans had territorial confrontations, but they were rarely fatal. They were also in touch with other living things to such an extent that death by other species were a rarity.

It is part of modern culture's mythology that people in ancient cultures lived short misserable lives. In fact, according to anthropological evidence, pre-civilisation cultures lived longer and healthier lives than their civilized counterparts right up until the invention of antibiotics.

It was those [ ] from the other side of the Atlantic that brought massive death.

But then, that side of the story doesn't sell cars, beer, and cosmetics...

The Moody Minstrel said...

Actually, several of the First Nation tribes that lived in southwestern Oregon, such as the Modoc and Klamath, were extremely warlike. Not only were they constantly battling each other (with quite fatal results), but they were always raiding the more peaceful, neighboring tribes, killing their men and hauling off their women to be slaves. Killing a member of another tribe was a requirement for being recognized as a man.

When white settlers later came into the area, they naturally became the new targets until posses were gathered (often with help from aforementioned more peaceful tribes) and the marauding bands attacked. Those wars were very bloody, but the warlike nature of those tribes did not begin with white settlement.

Just for the sake of argument, perhaps it should be mentioned that men of many if not most of the tribes that lived in what is now New England depilated their heads except for one little tuft which was left so an enemy that vanquished them could scalp them more easily. For those tribes (which were ethnically and linguistically related), killing each other was not only a way of life, but a matter of religious obligation.

Unfortunately, as white settlement continued in earnest, they stopped distinguishing between warlike and peaceful tribes. Those of the First Nations that weren't wiped out by disease (as most of them were) wound up being driven out if not massacred. Chief Joseph's Nez Perce were definitely not warlike. Neither were the Columbia tribes (decimated by smallpox) or the ones that now make up the so-called Siletz Confederation.

Whatever. This could turn into a long and pointless debate.

Pandabonium said...

I'm good at long pointless comments.

Vulgarius said...

Yeah, what's up with the partial kill ratings? That doesn't make any sense. I wonder if they include choking deaths, that would kick the cows and pigs up there a bit.

I hope you are talking about steak and chops...

Seymour said...

"I hope you are talking about steak and chops."

Chris, that's the funniest damn thing I've read all month! I'm ashamed I got it so quickly.

Cousin Cletus is gonna have to be more careful when he "milks" the Bull.

Sbopek-Romanian town renowned for its genetic defects.

Some Romanian Gymnast said...




Seymour said...

Well, that explains Ute. I wasn't even thinking about her Kevin, I promise!!

We have a home town for Ute!! Yay!! Why am I so happy? Must have been some of that Soviet Nuclear Mining I've been reading about.

Remember, not all defects are bad. Just look at George W.!

qgsmml-The ancient act of lip sewing.

The Moody Minstrel said...

Ute was a Yangae Foldorian, not Romanian.

Ecaterina Szabo was the Hungarian-Romanian from Transylvania who went up against Mary Lou Retton in the '84 L.A. Olympics and apparently somehow wound up possessing me while I was in the hospital...

I'm sure Ute is probably a manifestation of some psychic remnant, but such things should not be discussed in front of impressionable people. Let's talk about "Happy Tree Friends" instead.

lpgthsns - A Farbett trying to say, "That Hr'Goth you insulted is my friend" in his native tongue while swallowing the offender.

Seymour said...

You're right, obsessing over semi-fictional Eastern European chicks is such a waste of time.

As for "Happy Tree Friends", I can't watch more than 2 or 3 of them at a time without feeling dizzy. That is one twisted cartoon. Its actually on my one of the Satellite channels which I don't get.

kofhz-a metric unit of a cough.