Friday, December 10, 2004

When the Boys Break In, Just Sit Quiet and Let Them Work

Here's some wonderful advice from an "expert" in Britain: If your home is broken into, take control of the situation by sitting quietly and doing nothing. If you attempt to defend your own property, you risk getting either killed by a "scared adolescent" or arrested and jailed for far longer than the punk that burgled your house would be if he were caught. Apparently one man that gave an armed burglar in his house a demonstration of the stopping power of a shotgun was charged with pre-meditated murder since he had obviously kept his shotgun on hand for the purpose of using it against burglars.

And they wonder why burglaries are skyrocketing in Britain?

Why am I suddenly reminded of the polite, guild-associated burglars of Ankh-Morpork in the Ringworld novels? "Excuse me, but we're robbing you. We appreciate your cooperation in helping to keep our city fair and orderly. Would you like us to stab you in the back or hit you over the head? Actually, if you like, we're offering a special this month: we let you off with just a broken arm. Oh, and would you like a receipt?"

A similar case exists here in Japan. You are not allowed to use any kind of force that inflicts injury on someone that robs you, even if he threatens or actually uses injuring force on you. If you hit him with a baseball bat to stop him from shooting you, you are criminally liable. There's even a chance you could be arrested for "unlawful confinement" just for subduing him. If you are a victim, you have to be a victim. End of story.

And they wonder why burglaries are skyrocketing in Japan?

Laws concerning such things vary from state to state in the U.S.. Apparently Oregon allows killing force if killing force is threatened, but you can't do spit to an unarmed burglar. Frankly, I'm with South Carolina: if you find someone in your house that doesn't belong there, you are fully within your rights to reduce him to fertilizer. People will be less likely to commit a crime if there's a high chance of death involved.

Speaking of which, though I realize participation in this blog has been at an all-time low lately, I'm curious to know what means you'd propose to keep your home and possessions safe.


Vulgarius said...

It was five years ago but I wonder if its still true.

The offramp to Kennesaw Goergia proudly sports a sign that reads:

Welcome to Kennesaw. Lowest per capita crime rate in the country.

Kennesaw also has a law mandating that all households keep a firearm.

Don Snabulus said...

If you solve the public urination problem, the home burglary problem will flow naturally towards a solution.

Vulgarius said...

...But they dont have potty cops...Jus' cops with potty mouths.

The Moody Minstrel said...

Public urination has been the norm in Japan for a long time. There are a lot of men, mainly of middle or advanced age, that would rather go out of their way to take a "tachishoben" (lit. "standing pee") outside than use the bathroom only a few meters away.

Walk the streets of Tokyo at night, and it's guaranteed you'll see at least one suited, middle-aged businessman taking a leak on a wall. Drive the streets just about anywhere here in Ibaraki Prefecture, and it's guaranteed you'll see at least one middle-aged man standing next to his car (parked on the shoulder with its hazard lights blinking) taking a leak right next to the road.

If the government suggested cracking down on that, the people would probably laugh them right out of office.

Anonymous said...


If I rob their homes while they are peeing in public, they can't shoot me! Mwahahahaha!