Friday, June 18, 2004

Why Can't I Have One of These????

Any one of these babies in the hands of a school teacher would certainly add a whole new dimension to the idea of "classroom management"!

"The next punk who shoots off his yap is gonna put the whole lot o' ya to sleep!"

Imagine a military that doesn't cause collateral damage. THAT would be something! No more accidental ("") bombings of wedding parties or gunning down 2-year-olds, just large-scale shockings!

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZRGLPTTLZZGHTTT*****!!!!@#%$&!!!!!!!!!?

Hey, you guys gave my poor aunt a headache! I demand justice!!!!
(Whereupon my friend Justice quickly hops on his motorcycle and speeds off into the horizon.)

I doubt the Portland City Police (oops...sorry...that should be "Beaverton") would have any interest in using any of these "crowd-zappers", though. They seem to be in too much love with their pepper spray canisters.

3 comments:

Vulgarius said...

Silly String?

Don Snabulus said...

I don't think immobilizing 20,000 people to nail the 10 causing a disturbance would probably go down really well. Although it would go down better than a MOAB and get fewer cops killed.

Vulgarius said...

UV lasers are also notorius for causing blindness and cancer. Mass exposure to a general population would not be a nice thing. The bad part is that you cannot see beams to avoid them like in the movies. Even though you may not get shocked you may aquire blind spots or worse. A pallete full of dirty diapers dumped from a C-130 are probably my choice for wedding control! Besides, its environmentaly sound way to recycle. Once is not enough!